Rumi, for You

Dearest Amber,

The spirit of the words therein, claim I cannot, authorship, for they were passed through the Divine grace of Love, through One named ‘Rumi’.

However, just as Love inspired his heart from the presence of an angel in his eyes, I respectfully borrow his words, inspired by the Lovely Presence in Thee.

Love,
Leo

Amber

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Sincerely wishing you love, peace, and joy,
Carl Atteniese
http://carlatteniese.com

Amber

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Sincerely wishing you love, peace, and joy,
Carl Atteniese
http://carlatteniese.com

Amber

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Sincerely wishing you love, peace, and joy,
Carl Atteniese
http://carlatteniese.com

Amber

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Sincerely wishing you love, peace, and joy,
Carl Atteniese
http://carlatteniese.com

Amber

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Sincerely wishing you love, peace, and joy,
Carl Atteniese
http://carlatteniese.com

Amber

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Sincerely wishing you love, peace, and joy,
Carl Atteniese
http://carlatteniese.com

Amber

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Sincerely wishing you love, peace, and joy,
Carl Atteniese
http://carlatteniese.com

Amber

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Sincerely wishing you love, peace, and joy,
Carl Atteniese
http://carlatteniese.com

Amber

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Sincerely wishing you love, peace, and joy,
Carl Atteniese
http://carlatteniese.com

What Thou Does; What Thou Art

Dearest Amber,

Do you know what looking at you does to me? 

Do you know I am afraid of telling you?

Do you know that’s because I feel we often want more what’s hard to have?

Do you know that all the times you say that I don’t have to tell you that you are beautiful, you don’t realize how little I tell you-compared, and insufficiently-contrasted ‘gainst how often I feel?

Do you know that as an artist, I could write a book about how you don’t know the very many ways you are beautiful to me, and how it’s all about personal perception, and how everything that makes me, and everything that’s happened to me and everything I feel and have felt; have won and lost, have celabrated and ‘died’ over-is part of that incredible conlfuence of  myriad experiences and feelings (not just how heavenly you appear in and of yourself)-making you beautiful to me? I could write that book, if I were God.

Do you know that though I like telling you that you are beautiful-especially if you can understand and appreciate, like and feel-just a little of what I mean-that I am infinitely frustrated because the words, ‘lovely’, ‘beautiful’, ‘gorgeous’, ‘sublime’, ‘bella’, ‘belle’, ‘예뻐요’,  ’아름다워’, and ‘きれい’, do not do anything to describe what happens in my heart, my mind, my body-when I look at you or at pictures of you?

Do you know it hurts, like centuries have passed and I’ve died a fiery death with a quivor of arrows in me-like St. Sebastian, when you express to me that I don’t mean you are beautiful?

Do you know I feel as bad as if we were to learn that God had erased the stars-in punishment for the evil deed of man saying divine beauty is ugliness? 

My body’s quivered when we’ve kissed. My eyes are want to stare for eons at thee. My life is shaken when we touch. My heart and other muscle; my skin and soul-they are goose-bumps themselves, and they dance; they roll-like waves on the sea, when you smile at me….

For thou art not merely beautiful. Thou art beauty and loveliness themselves…
To me…

A Song for You; Time in A Bottle

Amber
I have wanted to send this song to you for the longest time…but like time, the idea got lost, ’til I heard it tonight, and since I feel you are so close, as when I was at the studio this evening, drawing, and you were having dinner in another part of the city…and we exchanged messages…but mostly, since I have come to see with new eyes…now, you are closer than ever, and yet, so far way, but always in my heart….

I love you,

Carlo

For You

Dear Amber,

I heard this and had to send to you

Share with Me

You tried to share
To teach me
To love me
To make me understand

I thought I knew what was right
I talked into the night
Even yesterday a bit

I never had a more wonderful love
I never had a sweeter woman
I never had a chance to be a man as good as you could make me

It’s all about courage, this act of love
Courage not just to love
But to listen
I’m listening, now
Amberlia, my Dear Angel

Please keep talking to me
I am finally learning
Still, due to your caring patience

I am listening
I will listen more
Nothing is more wonderful than being there for you

Nothing is more painful
Than missing you

Sunday was a dream anew
Yesterday we listened, too
I held your hand
We ate and talked
We heard my sister’s song
And yay, I even kissed you

I ready to listen
To listen is to love
To love you is to live

Amber, by Carl

It’s Easy (a poem in progress)

It’s a matter of blind habit
This reacting from what’s inside
This hacknyed use of “programming’s” right
And it’s habit we’re astride

For humans, though flesh and blood
Mind and heart so learned
We refuse to live more consciously
So we’re only along for the ride

This Love

It stole the moon and discarded the sun,
It fed me oceans, and made us one

It made me move mountains
With each arm for you
And set apace by it
We move planets, too

We blewway clouds ‘n fought off storms
Beat armies n’ philosophy
Healing loves of all forms

We forsook home
And left the earth,
Defying death’s reapers
With each rebirth

For God was he
And all we see;
The universe as is,
As is, is she
That did this thing

This love decreed
This love from you
This love in me

And so it is
So let it be
This love, this love
So let it be

Carl Atteniese

Gluten-free

Just found this, Am, but will do more research:

http://www.food4celiacs.com/ShopOnline/AF/140.html

Love,

♥ Leo

Bright*

When she wears white,
It’s never been as pure
Nor has it been as bright,
Of these things I am sure

And when her white’s are pleated,
I see rays of sun,
That shining good-defining light
In the woman I adore

~Carlo Atteniese

*This is a variation on the poem, Amber on Nami Island, featuring photos of Amber by Chloe Lee

De Javu

He’s pressed to go wherever here
Not thinking of someplace else

Near impossible to be anywhere here
Not missing a place where else

Wherever he goes
When he is here

He sees encyclopedias
Different on the inside

Yet sitting on the shelf

Carlo Atteniese

Uncle Charlie

Kind Uncle Charlie
I met him as a boy
On trips to grandma’s house
And it gave me so much joy

He had a wife, named Betty
“Chaaahlie”, she would call
From the other side of Grandma’s house
On the hill, it was so small

With the creek in back
And the mountain behind
And the land barren all around
It was lonely, to my mind

“Shuh’up Chaahlie”
Aunty Betty would tease
In smokey Cockney she’d creek it
And he ‘d take it in his ease,
In a crisp white pull over
And shiny ‘Beatles” boots
In sleepy-eyed stature
And his hip, blue jeans
And salt and pepper roots

His voice was deep and strong
But gentle, like a breeze
His warm utterances were musical
Women’s ears, they must have pleased

With his bushy white mustache,
And whitening eyebrows, too
His tousled, white, and moppy hair
Like morning’s fallen snow
so bright, so clean, so true

He looked just like old Einstein
standing, smiling there
“Oh, aaaahll right, Love”, he would gently say
In just the warmest, friendliest way
And though he really did loved her
His voice did clearly betray, that he was really saying
‘I don’t care; no worries’, in those yonder days

They were “a John and Yoko”
Of the Carroll clan
‘Cause he was warm and friendly
And a real man’s man

. . .

He had shot down Zeros
On a big battle ship
And in the war in Korea
Ran from the 40th, down to the tip

I carry round his medal
So people may right know
If they give his name some trouble
How he suffered here that trip

He played a little guitar
‘Painted pictures of small boats
He’d been a sailor and a teacher
His memories in his notes

He loved to pen his poetry
And he liked his nightly nips
Whenever this old boy from Brooklyn
Would dream of his worldly trips

The life in Japan or over the seas
Or the boy he’d not had
To sit on his knees

And he loved to impart wisdom
Quips and little tunes
He could talk to you for hours
And more than many moons

I think that not for long, could Charlie sit real still
He took cruises with new ‘Shirl’
When his love~life gave him nil

Some were really angry
That he left his Betty home
But he told me of his sadness
And this made his heart a’roam

. . .

In a dreamy way,
I remember
He’d stare
Enchanted a boy
This youth in the old
Is sadly called “wild”
And I would call that cold

But we’ve got not a right to judge him
For we’ve each one heart to tend
And we’ll never know another’s
Nor the pains it’s world will rend

So I remember Charlie
My uncle, kind and free
And I accept his choices
As he accepted me

. . .

In the end he knew my girlfriend
She came to love him too
He could easily do that
In her and in me and you

So,
If you have an Uncle
Or like me, a Dear Old Dad
Talk to him quite often
Before he’s all you’ve had

Carlo Atteniese

Let It Go

When the rain wets your head

Let

it

go

Each drop

When the smoke from the car chokes your breath

Let

It

go

When the money, the girl, the job is gone

You’re ready for all things new

Of course she wasn’t smoke

  but unless you save money it is

  and unless you savor her, she is as ethereal

  and she was certainly like rain, if you let her cleanse you

Alive or Un-alive

A long time ago…
My friend, Fred Kinnard said to me,

As we were aworking, high atop “The GE”
And pondered ‘the Needle’ of The Empire State

‘What a fitting symbol for a city of the walking dead’

Though Many would disagree (that New Yorkers are dead)
It is true, that in all our cultural paradigms
Tradition keeps us barely alive
And mostly just existing
Requiring drugs, money, empty relationships
And The Great Lie

When all we need
To be alive
Is to “kill the should monster”,
As Jennifer Levine had said to me

Until you do
You are not you
But what everyone wants you to be

And that’s more un-alive
Than anyone dead can be

Carlo Atteniese

Snow for You

The Snow for you,
Is big
Like love, which I “dive into”
As you said on the subway
Coming home from Osan

The snow is heavy, and it’s light
“Heavy” ’cause it’s big,
Light ’cause it looks like down feathers

The sky, this next day
As I ride the bus thinking of you
Is not very blue, it’s white; milky-white
White, because it’s bright
Milky, because it’s sweet

That winter is still here for us,
Is cosy

Happy Valentines Day

Happy Vaelentines Day,
Lovely Amber!

Love,

Carlo 

PS:

Thank you for your love
Your care, concern, devotion, and charm
Thank you fo your patience, your understanding
And your calm
 
We have learned a lot together
We have grown and changed forever
 
Sometimes it’s hard to learn much more
But it’s harder to say the same, I’m sure
 
So it’s great to love, and grow with you
To laugh and sing and spend day anew,
With a bright and wonderful woman so true
 
Your every expression; it is so sweet, so innocent and alluring
So beautiiful and so pure
 
So please Angel, keep loving me
Coz it’s you that I adore
 
Happy St. Valentine’s Day
“Leo”

Laughter That Changed Me

Last night I watched Amercian sitcoms. It was like going to church, or to the temple to meditate. Read more.

Thank You for The Book

Dear Lovley Amber,

Carlo here. Thank you for the book on hypoglycemia. I am learning a lot. Did you know-well, I guess you did (!)-that the type of hypoglycemia that I probably have, called “reactive” is not recognized by most doctors? It’s really true that I have to take my health into my own hands, but that is something that people in the West have been saying a long time. Even though there are many good doctors, they don’t have all the information, nor do they have the time or inclination to be so fucused on us that we can depend on them entirely, right?

I really love and appreciate what you wrote in the book, too. It’s like a thousand I love yous. I am sorry that I sometimes seem to depend on those words so much. Your love is shown in many things you do and have done. For example, I cannot forget, that you read a book on this disease, so you could help me.

You are wonderful.

Love Always,

Carlo

“Your ‘Leo’”

I Got Sunshine

Dearest Amberlia, read my note, and hear the song here. ~♥ Leo

Carlo’s Love

I love when you talk
I love when you sing
I love when you whisper
Most anything
 
I love when you speak English
Korean, Japanese

I love when you commune with me
In any degrees
 
Just your face, without a word
A silent voice
In your eyes I’ve heard

A stillness, excitement
It’s all at once
I rush to feel it
And it’s over
And I lose it like a dunce
 
I love when you teach me, nutrition, or cats,
Or art, or The Bible
Or how to wear my hats

It really matters not
I love your mind, and I love your dreams 
And I love that you’re kind

And that’s the truth
Whatever it means
I love you whatever forever
However long that seems
 
Love,
 
Leo

Your Work is Great

Dear Teacher Amber, “The Maestro”,

Your drawing recently, is phenominal; quick, accurate, characterful, and nice to look at. I also love the new header. As Uncle Charlie used to say, “Keep up the good work”, except that I would say it is great. Please, don’t stop.

I cannot wait to draw with you again.

Love,

Your,

Leo

Develop A Relationship First

Dear Carlo,

‘I told this girl I like her. She seemed not to care very much. Should I press the issue, or drop it?’….

Dear Friend, Do neither…(Continue Reading)

Traditional Ways of Finding a Mate Vs. Finding Love

Find a lover and life-partner by allowing yourself to become extremely attracted to someone who is equally, or more attracted to than you are to him or her, and to one who is available and willing to date RIGHT NOW. Any others fit into the same category into which we put passing signs on the highway; slightly interesting.  Continue Reading

Finding “Mr. Right in Your Heart”, Instead of “Mr. Right”

Today I answered a letter from a young woman trying to decide among three men…  Continue Reading at My Other Blog

What Are The Signs of Love?

Love is “All or Nothing” Continue Reading at my other blog

Zen Momento

A grey horizon and river

Under a dark bridge
but the light of life sparkles
In two places, like magic

No time for my camera

As the bus pulls away

At the cafe

The words of a monk
The sound of a piano, and a soft, melodious and melancholy voice
Memories of my father, back home
And of my love, of course

A confluence making a mallet
To ring a bell inside me
Sending a tone to my mind, my heart
Accusing and calling to my feet

When to Love

We choose a partner when we know what we feel, and what we want and need, and most of all, when we know we want to give “our all” to that person, and no one else…

If we are not sure about tomorrow, or the tomorrows after tomorrow, it is still okay to dedicate ourselves to the one we are attracted to because that is the only way to fully get to know someone, and yourself with that person. You don’t worry about the changes that may come; live now, for now, for now beomes yesterday, really fast, and if you are always living in the future, you lose today, and yesterday along with it!

A woman OR A MAN, should choose a partner that his or her heart has already chosen, and based on a feeling of inner happiness and calm, attraction and interest, compatibility and a sense of completeness, when with that person, physically and emotionally.

The way we treat someone is a reflection of our feelings and intentions. Giving to get is not love. Giving because we want to make someone’s life fuller and more enjoyable, is. You always know one from the other.

It’s that simple.

Wishing you love, peace, and joy.

Carlo Atteniese

Within

Look at your reflection

See whom and what you see
Don’t look the surface only
Or surface is all you’ll be

Don’t just see the skin and bone;
The hair upon your head;

The cloth on your back, the shoes on your feet,
Lest you be alone; your spirit dead

Look deep inside, through the breath of time
Look at your life, from far and wide
And in the truth therefrom confide
And health and friends will be at your side

In every body, in every thing
In people, Earth, and water;
In every living thing

From our actions, to the rocks and air

We must be conscious, of what is there

By the hand of nature and what we’ve added
The harmful, and the neutral,
Not just the “good”

For within is all true essence
The surface, but a sign
So if we long for harmony
Within we must reside

Carlo Atteniese

The “Hhhshshsh” And Blue Grey

A calming, alluring
Coffee shop day
Whitish-anemic blue

Not “grey”

 

 

The “hhhshshsh” of the hundreds
Of racing rubber wheels

 

 

 

 

Sliding on the slippery sheet of water
On the shining, drop-peckled road

 

 

Carlo Atteniese

The Ways We See

Dearest Amber,

Yesterday we talked about belief.

I think belief is influenced by what we know, feel, and see. I guess what we feel comes from the truest parts of ourselves, if we are quiet, observe deeply what is inside us, and feel some sense of the answers, or the pictures there. But where does what is inside us come from? Can we separate what we have learned from what is inherent in us?

All of these things are affected by what we are told as we grow up; by who is telling us, and whether it “rings true with us”, I suppose. Of course, if we believe The Bible, or some other doctrinal work, however we interpret it, we have a basis for belief. That is what you have. And you have your relationship with God, as you have told me.

I think what we believe, or how we believe it, is also affected by our experiences in life, which either strengthen or weaken our initial beliefs, supporting it or taking away from it. And what we learn about the universe, history, and human behavior, I think, also has an effect on our beliefs, or it can.

I think the most  important element of belief is honesty, and that even though people say ‘people believe what they want to believe’, the real truth-I think-is that people believe what they can believe at a particular time. I also know that belief can change, for better or worse.

To me, questions can only lead to greater truth, but we have to have the courage to face the questions that come into our minds, and to seek out the answers honestly, with the truest parts of our minds first; our hearts. And then, the empirical parts of our minds either honestly pursue the truth-whatever it is-or or they do not.

Great  loving moral thinkers, such as Krishnamurti, would say that we have to experience reality to find truth, not set up images for it that satisfy our own egos, which presuppose expected outcomes, therefore masking the truth. That doesn’t leave too much faith in science, does it? But I think science keeps trying, again and again, to find the truth, until the theories that came form unexplained observation become ‘laws’ of nature after many tests and more observations. We do this to the best of our ability to observe and think. Without science and  the scientific method, we wouldn’t know what is possible or impossible and we therefore would have no way of saying this or that is a “miracle” either.

Please know this, My Love; whenever I say that I am not sure about something, that is the most honest I can be. I am not trying to refute anything. I am saying that I see what I am capable of seeing. In the case of Heaven and Hell, we talked about where those places ’are’ today, because you asked if I believed in Hell, and so I was forced to say that Hell may be a ‘location’ in our lives, more than a location in some physical realm, meaning, what we believe depends on what we mean, and what we are capable of understanding.

To me, Sweetheart, saying ‘do you believe in Hell?’ is like saying ‘do you believe in purple?’ If you ask an optical scientist what purple is, he will give you a very different answer from an artist, a four year old, a color-blind man. Imagine asking a blind person if he believes in purple. Purple ‘exists’ for sure, but as a matter of point of view, and it is different things to different people, and different creatures.

What I do know is, love is the greatest power there is, and if you believe in God, God has to be responsible for it.

I do not go against love, and have decided to believe it is the saving grace of humanity and the closest thing we can experience to the divine.

They say God is Love. I hope it is true. After all, we are the creatures most capable of compassionate, sacrificing, forgiving love, it would seem, and if we are made in God’s image,  God must have made us capable of love, and must want us to exercise it. Love, I mean.

That is why when I was growing up, from boy to man, I decided-or felt in my heart-that if it was loving, it was the truth of God, and if it was not, it was likely a mistake of man misinterpreting God.  After all, I was told God is all-powerful and loves me and all his creatures. Therefore, should I not be like God as much as possible, to the best of my power, and simply love?

I love you,

Carlo

Images and Disappointment

   

Krishnamurti said that we make images, of ourselves, of others, of everything, and that these images replace the reality of the moment, which is always changing. It’s completely true. The proof is in our dissatisfaction. Think about it; we have expectations, of ourselves, of others, of everything, and when those expectations are not met, our disatisfaction shows. Think of any time you were disappointed. It was precisely because you expected an outcome that did not materialize, and that expected-outcome was based on your internal image of the way you  had wanted things to be. Try testing this yourself, but instead of setting some example up (which represents an experiment, with an expected range of outcomes; thus illustrating our expectations and the images they are based on), simply wait until the next time you are disappointed. Thereafter, or during the state of disappointment, ask yourself, ‘what image is my disappointment based on?’  The reason this is better–besides avoiding using images and expecations to test it–is that it will come as a complete surprise to you, further suggesting the natural reality of it as a process in our consciousness, and thus the self-evidence of it.

Carlo Atteniese

Music

If you’re listening, you can see her
But if you look too long
You might not hear her

And listening is knowing her
And to know her is to walk the path of love to her

I’ll be whispering, or singing, or silent now 
Just to find her

‘Cause I’ve been looking
For long, so long, though I didn’t realize her

Until I heard her, heard her song, though
She’d been playing for me all along 
Pure, and art defined, a melody

A gentle tune, to remind
The sound of love

The passing of time  

Don’t just look at her…  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Carlo Atteniese

 

Words Like Water Between Us

If only all words were as fluid

If only all utterance were pure

If only all the meeting of minds were as soft

And the clarity of our intentions so sure

If only the beauty in you and me

Could always, and at all times of expression be

As gentle as the trickle,

As smooth and as soft,

As accommodating,

As riverwaters,

And the clouds they reflect,

Aloft

Carressing, sliding, dancing,

And awashing quickly, over

Under, around, and straight on through

The fluid substance, unlike words

Undermines  the Earth and rock 

With the simplness of its blue

My consolation is

That you love me,

And  yours  is that I love you,

And that slowly

Like the river,

The currents move

More gently,

Over time,

Until all is balanced

And all is true

As the water learns the Earth,

And the Earth learns the water

And you learn me

And I learn you 

 

*

For My Amber, and All The People

Who Love One Another,

but Who are from Time to Time

Frustrated by Words and

Their Inability to Convey

The Meaning of the Heart, Readily

by Carlo Atteniese

The Path of Love

Today, counseling a woman from “who knows where”, I discovered in her letter more of the ‘the relationship should be this way’ kind of thing. I don’t mean the girl was all wrong. I have been guilty of this kind of thinking so many times that I couldn’t count. We all have certain expectations, some bound up  in our dreams of what love should be, some a part of our self-respect-oriented needs, and some from what we see in other relationships.

Apart from telling the girl that some of her concerns were well-founded, and that she could ask her boyfriend to be more gentle, I told her that a relationship is a conversation between two bodies, hearts, minds, and souls, along a path that only materializes when the two members of a couple take stpes forward togehter. I said that the path doesn’t exist anywhere else, and that it is not waiting for them, but that they have to make it themselves as they move along. It cannot be fashioned after another couple’s path either. Each path of love is unique.

I also feel that the path of love disappears when we stop walking together.  It disappears-as a path of a relationship between two sharing, loving souls-when one of us start leading, or controling, and we stop looking in the same direction together, which eventually just results in resentment.

If you want to take a path of love, and have it lead to happiness, you can neither lie, cheat, or stop helping one another along that path either.

In mutual cooperation, original, and artistic loving; that is, making it someintg new and unborn before–in creating, while loving, the path becomes a path of flight, of light, and of possibility.

 

Carlo Atteniese

The Stomach, And Gastroparesis

The famous Mayo Clinic has good pages on this subject at http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/gastroparesis/DS00612

I looked up ‘weak stomach’ at Google, and found the word ‘Gastroparesis’, and a very informative site on gasterointenstinal physiology. This article is a result of my reading there.

How It Functions:

Like The Heart
According to Jackson Siegelbaum Gastroenterology, the stomach is like the heart. Why? Well, each has a pacemaker. From the pacemaker, electric pulses fan out across both the heart, and the stomach. This makes muscles contract (close in on themselves, or squeeze). The regulator of this impulse in the stomach is the vagus nerve.

Two Parts
The stomach’s two parts are the upper part, or the fundus, where swallowed food and liquid are stored, and the lower part, or the antrum, where food is ground up and turned into chyme, a milky, thick, amalgum of what you have eaten, which is then “squirted” into the duodenum (/doo-AH-din-um/), the beginning of the small intestine, or the small bowel.

 As we just mentioned, the antrum, where food is ground up,  contracts to do this, and the normal rate for these contractions is roughly three times in a minute; much slower than the heart, but frequent enough for the task of making food into a chyme.

Gastroparesis

Also called ‘delayed gastric emptying’, this condition describes a stomach that contracts at a lower than normal rate, or too infrequently to empty the stomach properly. This slowing down, or stoppage is also caled paralysis, thus the ‘paresis’ in the name of the disorder.’ This retarded or stopped stomach contraction problem is due to a less frequent, or stppped electric pulse from the stomach’s pace maker, the vagus nerve. When gastroparesis is present, the stomach will have to depend more on its digestive acids and enzymes to break down food inside, and less on the physical action of grinding it up with normal contractions. In essence, as the doctors in my source material say, your food ‘just lies there’, waiting for ‘gravity’ to bring it to the bowels. Gastroparesis may occur when the vagus nerve is damaged and the muscles of the stomach and intestines do not work normally. Food then moves slowly or stops moving through the digestive tract.

Gastroparesis can be caused by damage to the vagus nerve . This causes the muscles of the stomach and intestines to not work normally. Food then moves slowly or stops moving through the digestive tract. (paraphrased from Wikipedia). Damage to the vagus nerve may be caused by high levels of blood glucose over many years.

Symptoms

(This portion of my article is copied directly from the site mentioned above, with thanks and apologies to the authors:)

The usual symptoms of gastroparesis are:

•  a feeling of fullness after only a few bites of food,
• bloating,
• excessive belching, and,
• nausea.
• At times there will be a vague, nagging ache in the upper abdomen, but usually the pain is not sharp or crampy as might occur with ulcers or a gallbladder attack.
• There may be vomiting,
•  heartburn, or
• regurgitation of stomach fluid into the mouth.

Medications that reduce or eliminate stomach acid usually don’t help much. (emphasis, mine)

Causes 

(This portion of my article is copied directly from the site mentioned above, with thanks and apologies to the authors:)

• Diabetes is the most common known cause. Adrenal and thyroid gland problems can also be a cause although these are infrequent
• Scars and fibrous tissue from ulcers and tumors can block the outlet of the stomach and mimic gastroparesis
• Certain drugs weaken the stomach (tricyclic antidepressants such as Elavil, calcium blockers such as Cardizem and Procardia, L-dopa, hyoscyamine, Bentyl, Levsin, narcotics)
• Previous stomach surgery
• Anorexia and bulimia
• Neurologic or brain disorders such as Parkinson’s disease, strokes and brain injury
• Certain diseases such as lupus erythematosus and scleroderma
• In up to 40% of cases the cause of gastroparesis is not known

It should be noted that not all of these disorders affect the pacemaker of the stomach. Some disorders weaken the stomach muscle itself so it can’t respond to the pacemaker. In either case, the result is the same, gastroparesis.

Diagnosis (Portions of  this part of my article are copied directly from the site mentioned above, with thanks and apologies to the authors:)

The diagnosis of gastroparesis starts with taking the information about the patient’s medical history when  he suspects symptoms. In severe cases, the physical exam and blood tests may show evidence of malnutrition, but usually the exam is normal.An upper GI (gastro-intentestinal) barium x-ray measures how liquid barium leaves the stomach. This exam is to show how quickly or slowly material leaves the stomach. Often this exam is normal.Upper endoscopy is a visual exam of the stomach using a lighted flexible tube. Mild sedation is usually given for this procedure. This exam should always be done to be certain there is not a blockage in the stomach.A gastric or stomach emptying test is presently the best method of making the diagnosis. In this test, a food, such as scrambled eggs, is labeled with a marker (radioactive? [question; mine]) which can be seen by a scanner. Following ingestion, the scanner tracks the time it takes for the food to leave the stomach. In general, half the stomach contents should leave within about 90 minutes. A final test, which is not available everywhere, is the electrogastrogram (EGG). This test, like the EKG on the heart, measures the electrical waves that normally sweep over the stomach and precede each contraction.

Treatment (This portion of my article, including ‘Medication’,  is copied directly from the site mentioned above. I manipulated and changed it for clarity. With thanks and apologies to the authors:)

First, if there is an underlying disorder, it needs to be treated effectively. Examples are good blood sugar control in the diabetic patient or thyroid medicine for someone with an underactive thyroid.Second, there may be a need to address diet and nutrition. When gastroparesis is mild, there are usually few food problems. However, if there is marked delay in stomach emptying, then attention to the diet is necessary. Fats, including vegetable oils, normally cause delay in emptying of the stomach, so foods that are high in fat need to be avoided. High fiber foods such as broccoli and cabbage tend to stay in the stomach, so these foods should be restricted when symptoms are severe. Liquids always leave the stomach faster than solid food so liquid type foods such as low-fat milkshakes should be used. Finally, frequent small feedings, 4-6 times a day, are usually more effective than larger meals, 2 or 3 times a day. A registered dietitian can be very helpful in providing advice in severe cases. Medications Several medications are now available to stimulate the stomach to contract more normally. These drugs should be taken 20-40 minutes before eating to allow enough time for the drug to get into the blood stream where they can then act on the stomach. They all cause the stomach to contract more often and, hopefully, more vigorously thereby emptying the stomach and reducing symptoms.  Metoclopramide (trade name: Reglan) This is an effective drug although it may have side effects such as restlessness, fatigue, agitation and depression. The dose is 5-20 mg. This drug is available in generic form. Domperidome (trade name: Motilin) This drug is available in Canada and Europe but not in the U.S. as of January 2001. Bethanechol (trade name: Urecholine) and erythromycin, an old antibiotic are occasionally used but generally are not effective or even desirable long-term.  Summary Gastroparesis is a fairly frequent medical problem. While causing distressing symptoms in some patients, it rarely causes serious medical problems. The diagnosis is now straightforward. Treatment consists of treating any underlying problem, diet and medications. By working with the physician, most patients are able to reach a satisfactory treatment program.  Learn how the new prebiotic soluble fibers benefit bowel health and many GI disorders

More about the disease, from Wikepedia:

Causes

Gastroparesis may be chronic or transient; transient gastroparesis may arise in acute illness of any kind, with the use of certain cancer treatments or other drugs which affect digestive action, or due to anorexia nervosa, bulimia and other abnormal eating patterns.

Chronic gastroparesis is frequently due to autonomic neuropathy. This may occur in people with type 1 diabetes or type 2 diabetes. The vagus nerve becomes damaged by years of high blood glucose, resulting in gastroparesis. Gastroparesis has also been associated with various autoimmune diseases and syndromes, such as fibromyalgia and Parkinson’s disease, and may occur as part of a mitochondrial disorder.

Chronic gastroparesis can also be caused by other types of damage to the vagus nerve, such as abdominal surgery.^[1]

Idiopathic gastroparesis (gastroparesis with no known cause) accounts for a third of all chronic cases; it is thought that many of these cases are due to an autoimmune response triggered by an acute viral infection. “Stomach flu”, mononucleosis, and others have been anecdotally linked to the onset of the condition, but no systematic study has proven a link.

Signs and Symptoms

The most common symptoms of gastroparesis are^[2]

• Chronic nausea
• Vomiting (especially of undigested food)
• Early satiety

Other symptoms include

• Heartburn
• Weight loss
• Abdominal bloating
• Erratic blood glucose levels
• Lack of appetite
• Gastroesophageal reflux
• Spasms of the stomach wall

Morning nausea may also indicate gastroparesis. It is important to note that vomiting may not occur in all cases, as sufferers may learn to adjust their diets to include only small amounts of food.^[3]

Diagnosis and Treatment

Gastroparesis can be diagnosed with tests such as x rays, manometry, and gastric emptying scans. The clinical definition for gastroparesis is based solely on the emptying time of the stomach and not on other symptoms, and severity of symptoms does not necessarily correlate with the severity of gastroparesis. Therefore, some patients may have marked gastroparesis with few, if any, serious complications.

Treatment includes dietary changes (low-fiber and low-residue diets, and in some cases, restrictions on fat and/or solids), oral medications such as Metoclopramide (Reglan, Maxolon, Clopra), Cisapride (Propulsid), Erythromycin (E-Mycin, Erythrocin, Ery-Tab, EES) and Domperidone (Motilium); adjustments in insulin dosage for those with diabetes, a jejunostomy tube, parenteral nutrition, implanted gastric neurostimulators (“stomach pacemakers“), or botulinum toxin.

Viagra, which increases blood flow to the genital area, is also being used by some practitioners to stimulate the GI tract in diabetic gastroparesis.

The antidepressant Mirtazapine has also proven effective in the treatment of gastroparesis unresponsive to conventional treatment. This is due to its anti-emetic and appetite stimulant properties. Mirtazapine acts on the same serotonin receptor (5-HT3) as the popular anti-emetic Ondansetron^[4].

Complications

Primary complications of gastroparesis include:

• Fluctuations in blood glucose due to unpredictable digestion times (in diabetic patients)
• General malnutrition due to the symptoms of the disease (which frequently include vomiting and reduced appetite) as well as the dietary changes necessary to manage it
• Severe fatigue and weight loss due to calorie deficit
• Intestinal obstruction due to the formation of bezoars (solid masses of undigested food)
• Bacterial infection due to overgrowth in undigested food

 

Carlo Atteniese

Meeting Eunmi And Yura

             

 This was a really nice day. I met Amber’s closest high-school frends in the part of town she was born and grew up in. We went to a ”Fish and Grill”, which is the Korean answer to a restaurant and drinking house styled after a Japanese’ fashion of sorts. You can get a nice piece of grilled fish on a skillet there, as well as beer on tap (sometimes only Korean beer), and “oh-dang”, which is fish-sticks in various shapes, sizes, and dishes. You can also enjoy ”ooh-done’, thick, slippery white noodles in a  very light broth containing scalions and other light vegies of the leafy variety.

‘The jokes about the shaving ‘event’ are relavent because Amber gave me this electric razor for my birthday, the day before, and though I love it, she gets a bigger kick out of using it than I do (on me, that is).

Amber’s friends were nice. Yura gave Amber and I little cloth fish pins, which she had made, wrapped in miniature bags that she also had made. They had her logo on them. She likes Japan, as do I , for its arts, crafts, and aesthetics, and she makes bags and other things of a sort of Japanese style, one might say. She is also studying Japanese. Yura is on the left and Eunmi, on the right, in the last photo.

Eunmi was very clever (she suggested this meting). She had big, stylish glasses that I donned for a funny picture. Maybe I will post it later. Amber, thanks for introducing me to your friends. You are so sweet, and so are your friends. I had a great time.

Water

     

 

Copyright © 2009, by Carlo Atteniese, All Rights Reserved.
Special Thanks to Motorola, and to My Beloved Bitnah, “Amber” Park

New Photos, A Testimonial, My Birthday with Amber

See my newly posted self-portraits and new photographs of Amber, by Carlo.

Today I received a nice e-mail from a client that I would like to share to encourage others to seek my advice about love:

Carlo,

Thank you SO MUCH for writing to me.  I really appreciate the style you use to express your thoughts. It’s both clear and sensitive ~ not an easy task, to be able to do both.

I checked out your other website and foundI like both, for different reasons. I read about some of your interests, so I’d like to recommendthat if you ever come to the Pacific Northwest, you might like to spend some time at Breitenbush. (You can google that). I’m going there for a workshop next week, about transforming my life. In the past, I participated in a workshop on meditation. And the natural hot springs there are phenomenal. It’s a very comfortable environment; I love it.

Thanks, again! 
m.

About Amber, Her Students, And My Birthday

Last night I met Amber at her school in Suwon, where she is Head Teacher. She welcomed me to enter a class with her and talk to her students. I spoke to Terry, a smart looking young man with cool glasses, who aspires to be a novelist, and Matt, who is diligent and seemed reserved yesterday, as well as their classmate, Kelly, who seemed confident and quiet at the time. I liked them all. They were nice.  I had a chance to encourage them, and teach a little grammar, or sentence syntax actually. I really enjoyed it. Amber was so gracious, as usual, with her praise and thanks. She has such confidence, poise, and calm in the class.

Afterward, we went to a restaurant in the busy little Osan district nearby, and we had a delicious marinated fish fillet and side dishes, which Amber treated me to. While we waited for that meal to come, she gave me gifts. First there was a wonderful little card, in which she inscribed such beautiful sentiments such that–as far as I can remember–a woman never took the time to express on paper to me. It is very special.  Then she gave me the gifts! Weee!

The first gift–I recognized it right away, from the large, tube-shape it took in its paper covering– was a refill of an ‘old’ favorite; skin lotion from The Body Shop. It was wrapped so handsomely, in gold, with a wide, warm, forest~green ribbon, that has a manly and a “Christamasy” feel to it. I didn’t open it (her suggestion), since I knew what it was.

Then she gave me a really sweet, silver metal book mark, which consisted of a strong clip, for the binding of whatever I am to read, affixed to a chain, at the end of which is a treble clef. I really like it very much. It will serve to remind me of her musical skills and love of music, and of my dream to play an instrument again, perhaps the saxaphone (like when I was a young man), or a guitar. I told Amber I would keep it home, perhaps in my bible, or some other book on Zen; maybe in a writing book? But she interjected warmly and sweetly, saying that she much preferred that I get more use out of it. It was charming to see and hear her express her hope that it would become a special keep-sake, from her to me. This really made me feel special. Amber keeps the loving sentiments coming; being fully aware of the opportunities and significance of the moment. It is wonderful dating a creative person for  the fist time in my life.

Finally, the last gift from Amber came in a small, slightly heavy box. I felt a little excited, realizing it was something electronic, and at the same time, I felt a bit worried that it might have been quite expensive, like say an MP3 player might be. …Well, it was not such a thing, but it does require batteries! Amber bought me a great little travel~razor, made in Germany, by the Braun company! I marveled over it a long time.

As it was getting late and she had to get home, and I had to get to a sauna to get some sleep myself  (we both had to wake up early), we made our way huddled under my big umbrella through the driving rain to teh bus stop, to simply enjoy a nice ride home together on the bus. The truth is, the ride from Osan to Suwon is always a bit of an adventure; chilly this season because of the high air-conditioning on board, and bumpy, because the local buses tend to be rickety, the roads, bumpy, and the drivers, a bit ‘out of their minds’ (Ha, ha).

Tonight I will meet her again, and I will also meet a couple of her closest girlfriends. And Saturday, we will go to a special shop where we will bake my birthday cake. Amber had wanted to make it the other night, before my birthday, but she was so busy with work.

Amber, thank you, for the best birthdays, ever!

 Love,

 Carlo

In London

‘Ello Ambah!

How do people feel in a different city?
I especially like to ask people from Korea how they feel after having gone to the West for a while.
I learned the most about myself, by coming to Korea…

Meditation

Hello! Love, Peace, and Joy to You. Let’s talk about meditation. Traditionally, to meditate is to do this: focus your thoughts on ideas, images, memories, or other things that can be held by the mind.

Today, generally speaking, the meaning of meditation is different: Meditation means to clear your mind, generally, while sitting, standing, walking, or lying down, in a controled fashion.

There are different forms of meditation, and my friends Chong Go Sunim, Gyatso Sunim, Joe, Joseph, and Marcus, could list and describe the different types better than I can, but I can say this about what  I think meditation is, and what its benefits are; It allows for a slowing down of things, so you can see yourself, your behavior, and those around you much more clearly. It can also help you to relax, which improves everything, for you, and for others, ideally-speaking.

There are reasons people don’t meditate, despite the health and welfare benefits of the practice; reasons beyond general ignorance. The reasons, in my opinion, lie for some, in religion. Some religious people, probably mostly Christians, have a concern that meditation is something anti-Christian. This is perhaps because it isn’t prescribed in the bible as a means of achieving anything, specifically in the name of God. And perhaps meditation is a ”no-no” to some Christians because they might think it falls under the banner of things coming from other religions, and thus other gods, and the Christain faith prohibits the worship of other gods, and by extension perhaps, practices stemming from such ‘worship’. 

Carlo Atteniese

To Be Continued…

Comedy for You Amber

Dear Amberlia: In the spirit of the fun time we had, laughing on the train from Chonggak to Suwon, I added Monty Python videos, and some Steve Martin on the comedy page.   (^.^) Enjoy! ~Love, “Leo”